The Gifts of Stress, Part 2 of 3
This is the second installment of my equation on how to get to the gifts of your stress. In the last blog, I talked about identifying what it is that stresses you out. Today we’ll talk about ways to destress.
The de-stress skills are called mindfulness techniques. They are called mindfulness techniques because you are bringing your attention to what is happening at the moment. When you experience the present moment, you aren’t trying to control the future or trying to change the past. When you are not thinking about how you wished you hadn’t mentioned your mother-in-law’s dirty dishwater hair color to your sister-in-law, or what might happen if no one shows for next month’s presentation, you can live in the here and now - the present moment. That means no regret about the past; no anxiety about the future; just present moment awareness -a place you can discover peace of mind, and joy.
Here are some skills that you can use to reduce your stress about an event you can’t change. These mindful techniques and practices help you experience being in the moment rather than trying to change the past or control the future.
The Serenity Prayer.
Journal - write about a specific topic, subject, mood, or emotion to experience an inner journey to help you reduce your stress.
Exercise - walking, yoga, tai chi, etc.
Be in the moment; laugh, be silly, sing, dance, have fun. No self-consciousness in the present because you are not thinking about the past or worried about the future. Seeing the humor in a situation is a great destress technique.
Pet and play with your pet – experience the comfort and contentment of just being with them.
Tapping/EFT – eases anxiety, depression, grief, phobias, and trauma by reducing the impact of your thoughts to help you make room for more joy.
Breathing exercises like the 4x4 Breath
4 seconds to INHALE (through the nose)
HOLD your inhale at the top for 4 seconds
Take 4 seconds to EXHALE (through your mouth).
REPEAT 4 times.
Creative visualization
Prayer / Serenity Prayer
Being in Nature – walking, riding a bike, hiking, gardening.
Labyrinth walk - an ancient practice used by many different faiths for spiritual centering, contemplation, and prayer. As you enter the serpentine path of a labyrinth, you walk slowly while quieting your mind and focusing on a spiritual question or prayer.
Community - being with supportive women to befriend, support, encourage and uplift you through any stress or anxiety.
Meditation - focus on your breath, in and out, for 5 minutes to start. Meditating is not clearing all thoughts from your mind because we can’t. Yet, we can allow those thoughts to go by and not judge any negativity that might enter in. It just is.
Which one will you try now?
Using one or more of the mindful techniques to reduce your anxiety and stress – even if it is only 5 minutes to start with – is one of the best ways to learn more about yourself.
Whether you journal, meditate or exercise, you’re going to learn to be still with your thoughts – those thoughts that keep you in a constant state of unrest. And you will train your body to feel more relaxed. It is that relaxed state that is going to allow you to go to the next part of the de-stress equation and discover the gifts and benefits of your stress.
Comedian George Burns once said, “If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress, and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.”
Burns was 100 when he died. He must have followed his own advice.
Until next time, stay curious, wonder about your life, and remember you don’t have to have all the answers to be happy.